Twigs

Annons

Looser

Hi. While my man is out on the town having a lads night out I’m spending the night at home with a cocktail made from left over alcohol. I’m making puff pastry apple tarts, they’re in the oven.

I had an appointment with my physician this week. I’d lost about 3 kilos. This morning I’d lost even more. How do people not get hooked on this? How can they loose 10 kilos and then settle with that target weight? It’s something I’m sure I’ll never understand.

Annons
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english rose

Oh, I have a blog? I’m sorry, I’d totally forgotten.

So, I suppose I’m meant to give you an update on how my life has been. Well it’s been great, thank you for asking! Lots of new and exciting things has happened. Finishing school must be the most fascinating thing tho. I had hoped, but never had I actaully thought I’d graduate when I was supposed to. It makes me feel proud.

But Ed wasn’t very impressed. I call it “Ed” now rather than “Ana” as it’s changed it’s way of effecting me. I need to rid myself of these thoughts before they cause some real life-changing events. I believe the first step is to be stronger. To not give in to the bulimic thoughts that causes me to purge after meals. To challenge Ana when she insists that one real meal is enough for one day. I feel fat. And I look it. But I’ve been a lot heavier before and not given a rat’s ass about it then. So it just can not be the actual weight that is the problem. It has to be the illusion. I may strive to look “heroin chic”, but it’s just a preference, nothing more. A phase.

But this isn’t. However, I don’t know what I can do to make it vanish. Will I outgrow it? I don’t wish to dwell on things of the past. I’m ready to move forward and become the woman people I love deserves to be around.

Annons
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Easter

As if it’s almost spring! Not that you can tell from looking out the window tho, it’s a winter wonderland outside. And I had almost forgotten the existence of this blog. Who knew I could survive without my little outlet of emotion on the internet. But I’m used to keeping things locked up behind closed doors, and lately I haven’t needed to share much. However, it would be naive to think I’m recovered. I find myself thinking that I’m “normal” and “over it”, but how normal is it to purge outside in the dark and hide the evidence under the snow? Is that what a grown up woman should be doing? 

Annons
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Hello

Hi guys. I’m sorry about not updating on here. Christmas and New Years was intense. Haha. No I haven’t been in an alcoholic coma since christmas eve, I’ve just been busy. I’ve got a lot to do at school, and I’ve been working out like a maniac so blogging hasn’t really been on my mind. I wish I could see you guys. Who are you?

 

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Noel

Merry x-mas to all of you. I couldn’t be happier I’m not a binger, my thoughts are with you who are. Today was a good day, which I’m greatly thankfull for. Hope yours was a good one, I’ll make sure to blog soon again when the mood strikes. Bless you!

Annons
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