Oh, I have a blog? I’m sorry, I’d totally forgotten.
So, I suppose I’m meant to give you an update on how my life has been. Well it’s been great, thank you for asking! Lots of new and exciting things has happened. Finishing school must be the most fascinating thing tho. I had hoped, but never had I actaully thought I’d graduate when I was supposed to. It makes me feel proud.
But Ed wasn’t very impressed. I call it “Ed” now rather than “Ana” as it’s changed it’s way of effecting me. I need to rid myself of these thoughts before they cause some real life-changing events. I believe the first step is to be stronger. To not give in to the bulimic thoughts that causes me to purge after meals. To challenge Ana when she insists that one real meal is enough for one day. I feel fat. And I look it. But I’ve been a lot heavier before and not given a rat’s ass about it then. So it just can not be the actual weight that is the problem. It has to be the illusion. I may strive to look “heroin chic”, but it’s just a preference, nothing more. A phase.
But this isn’t. However, I don’t know what I can do to make it vanish. Will I outgrow it? I don’t wish to dwell on things of the past. I’m ready to move forward and become the woman people I love deserves to be around.